When there's nothing left to do but pray....

When situations don't make sense and clear conversation seems impossible. Then I pray. And play the piano. Somehow an orderly progression of sound and melody helps organize my brain.

My brain is looking for a solution but there only seems to be a cascade of thoughts with no end in sight.

So I pray. Short, single word prayers seeming more like gasps for air than eloquent exchange. I dissolve into silence and listen to breathing. In and out.

I don't often find myself in the center of a situation where the solution is elusive. That's my M.O. I problem solve. But yet here I am. Without a fix-it.

Every answer only brings more questions. Every question opens doors to one more observation I don't want to give credence to. In the quest for truth sometimes you have to look at life from angles that are not comfortable. You have to be willing to challenge the status quo and risk your life turning up side down.

So I pray. And hope for the best while preparing for the worst. And I have no idea what either of those look like. I'm in a fog.

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