Jokes directly from my brain to your cortex.

With which malaise would you diagnoze a
lizard who is unable to move?
A reptile dysfunction

The environment sometimes brought on by c
opious amounts of liquor and or lack of sleep in which everything is funny.
The Hilarium!!!

Note: Scaring yourself sober or falling asleep while driving will cause a tear in the space/time hilarium and all subsequent actions will be Seriously Not Funny. Vast quantities of chemically altered acqueous dilithium crystals injected through a hypospray given by Quark will restore the fabric of the hilarium.... Good grief I am a nerd.
(Mocking your husband will also fail to create harmony in the Hilarium.. It is best to avoid such a pitfall.)

And lastly, because I can hear the groans already

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at a brothel?

Randy

And probably rich cuz you'd have to pay someone to carry you in, and that kind of help is costly... Not that I'd know or anything.

BA DA BOOM BA DA BING!

That's all folks! I'll be here all week!